What is dating in 2016?

I was born in 1992; my childhood consisted of Disney movies. This is where my dream of a "fairy-tale romance" came from. Thanks Walt Disney. 

However, at the age of 23 reality has truly set in. Relationships are complicated and even more so today due to social media and the new "norms" that have come along with it. At times I feel as if I was born in the wrong generation. I don't fit into this- in the generation of "Netflix and Chill"- and that is considered to be a date. Or people referring to dating as "talking" so there is truly never a label. I live in an era of not wanting a title, but still wanting relationship benefits. The idea of traditional dating seems to be extinct. 

The idea of "friends with benefits" never works. Okay; maybe occasionally it does. What usually occurs is one person begins to develop stronger feelings and initiating the classic: "What are we?" This leads up to "I am not ready for a relationship, but I like what we have and still want to chill." 

aka: #situationship

This generation is social media obsessed; myself included. I feel as though we are so connected to the live stream that we are losing the mystery of the unknown. We constantly know exactly what everyone is doing- how Johns great uncles birthday party was yesterday-or immediately when Mike and Sarah breakup. There is never any mystery-or never a chance to "miss" anyone because you are constantly updated on their lives via Snapchat, Instagram & Twitter. 

I am all about pictures and posting, just about everything. We have also became so obsessed with the hashtag- that damn hashtag, This has created so much pressure for men and woman to never forget that today is #MCM and girls you better post your man with that hashtag or everyone will think you broke up. We ALL look for these things- we wait to see who posts what and who the new couples are that are "TALKING" never actually dating.  We jump so quickly into sharing our relationship with social media that we don't even let it develop between ourselves. This is where we go wrong. 

I admit it; I have done it. 

This obviously leads to the breakup. Three months after posting your #MCM or #WCW their posts are deleted and their timeline is plastered with shady memes about not settling. Then shortly after one of two scenarios occur: 

1. They post a new photo of their new #BAE

2. They get back together with their old #BAE and post photos with captions like,"distance makes the heart grow fonder"

 God forbid your #BAE refuses to post a photo of you on their social media. They MUST be living a double secret life or maybe, just maybe they want to keep your love life sacred and only share it with you. However, due to these new social norms the outside world is constantly judging you. "Oh, he really doesn't love her, he never posts anything about her." This unnecessary tension puts a huge strain on your relationship for NO reason. I will admit that I have fallen victim of this. I too would complain because I wanted the social media attention. I wanted to appear as the perfect couple; even if it wasn't truly reality.  It didn't matter what happened behind closed doors; it only mattered what everyone else would see. 

At times, I wish I could teleport myself to a time where things were simpler. Where men were more respectful, being in love was praised and R&B was about the beauty of love, instead of #sidechicks and #thesehoesaintloyal. 

I honestly feel that some woman in my generation are settling for things they don't want in a relationship. I am no where close to a relationship expert and I am so far from perfect, but one thing I have learned in my own personal dating and relationship experiences is that we as women really hold all the power and set the tone for how we want to be treated. 

This is so important for women to hear. We must set the standards of how we want to be treated by our partners, and that begins with self-love and figuring out what we value. If we all came to realize the power that we hold, we could truly change the current dating game. 

If you're at a point in your life where you want to date with no strings attached & have fun- do it. However, if what you crave is a committed relationship, there is no reason to settle for a "Netflix and Chill" relationship. Men know what they want. If he wants you, he will do whatever it takes. If he tells you that he isn't ready; believe him, It is YOUR choice to stay and wait or just move on- there are plenty of fish in the sea. (I just suck at fishing obviously.) 

Ultimately, you are in control of your own happiness, and you set the terms of what you want. I am at the point where I want a relationship; but I want to be alone. I thought I wanted to settle down- but honestly the idea of that scares the crap out of  me now. I have so many visions for myself, so many dreams I want to make into reality, and I can't let anyone get in my way of that. Sure; I could share that with someone; but I am still selfish. I want to only worry about myself right now. And that is perfectly okay. 

Do you think that technology and social has killed off the concept of dating? Are we partially to blame for the lack of effort behind dating? Or is "chilling" simply the new dating in 2016?