Chapter 24.

On May 15th I turned twenty-four years young. 

Each year leading up to twenty-four I struggled with the idea of becoming another year older. I struggled with the idea of new expectations and life goals that I should be achieving; and I wasn't achieving anything. I was so swallowed up by falling in and out of love, letting people down, and not taking care of myself; which is most important in life. 

I was okay with 24 this year, I wanted to close the 23rd chapter and start new goals and begin new adventures. I am ready. 

We are going to throw this back a bit to my birthday, last year. At that point in my life I was struggling with self-love and understanding why bad things happen to good people. I am someone who doesn't let many people in, but when I do I am an open book. I break down all my walls and trust every piece of myself to you. Unfortunately, we all have greater plans in place than what we have imagined for ourselves. What I thought I wanted wasn't truly me. 

I became ME when I lost what I wanted. 

When going through something so painful we don't realize the blessing in disguise. He was right, we wanted different things. And I was strong enough to walk away and know that I shouldn't settle for mediocre when I can have the world. I may be short, and I may be little, but I am bold.. I am ready to take on the world. 

Once the wounds were healed I learned to grow again and boy did I grow. My heart grew 10x larger and my dreams followed suit. I taught myself that the only person who can tell me I can't succeed is myself, and I am not going to let that happen. I know this sounds crazy, but in my mind, I feel that at this point in my life there isn't anything I couldn't accomplish. 

I am only 24 years old. I don't know everything, but I know that you need to love yourself. You have to be confident in whoever you choose to be. I know in this world that we live in, its hard. We are constantly judged on the person who we are "SUPPOSE" to be instead of who we WANT to be. Don't fall victim to this. Be unique, let your true colors shine. When you love yourself, you sparkle. Your happiness will radiate off to those around you, and you will never be happier than when you can stand out instead of fitting in. 

Its time for you to take some time to yourself, learn what you deserve, love who you love, and begin your healing process so you can love who you are. 

Here are some things I learned while I began to love myself, again.

 1.Pieces of yourself that hurt are part of you, but not all of you.

It is easy for us to carry around the idea that we are forever changed from pain or something we are temporarily going through. That maybe our mental state of mind and who we are as a person will be shaped by these experiences. Yes, we will be shaped by these experiences and most commonly than not; we learn from these and change for the better.

2. Having bad days doesn’t make you weak.

Hearing a song on the radio that takes you back to a painful time, or makes you feel insufficient doesn’t mean that you are weak. Having a bad day and just wanting to be left alone doesn’t mean your failing; it is a good reminder to be kind and patient with ourselves. Just because we want to be 2 steps further ahead than where we are currently, doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate the half step we took yesterday. We need to encourage ourselves and strive for success every day. 

You are your #1 fan.

3.       Your relationships change once you value your worth.

As I grew into who I wanted to be, I found myself surrounding myself with people who lift me up, believe in me and value what I have to say. They love me and support me in whichever decision I choose (some good, some bad.) When I went through the healing process it allowed me to see who was toxic in my life and would continue to bring me down; when I needed love the most. Loving yourself requires no explanations. Nobody needs to validate my decisions with my relationships because that is strictly my business. Realizing your self-worth is amazing, but it can also bring to light every relationship that surrounds you; some that might need changing.

4. Find what moves you, your self-love will grow through passion.

Feel love and passion through another channel in your life. Your career, a hobby, music or even a person… what makes you happy? What makes me happy? Campfires with family, country music and my windows down, running to my favorite Justin Timberlake song, getting dressed up and going out with friends. THESE are my outlets that helped me grow stronger; more confident in myself. Caring about a specific thing can be very powerful, wait and see what type of impact it has on you. Think about it, what truly makes you happy. What can cheer you up on your worst day? Find your passion in life and run with it. This type of revolving love is one of the greatest blessings we encounter in life. It is the kind that awakens our soul to something we love, so that in return we can give it back to the world and those around us. 

You are you for everything you are, everything you've overpowered and everything you have yet to be. 

Cheers to 24.

let's see what this year brings; together.